Cain's Mistake
by OptimisticallyRealistic
Summary: POV of Alex on the day of Josh's death and how he winded up in the hospital. Read about Adam's feelings and their mother's sanity breaking.
1. Cain's Mistake

**Cain's Mistake**

Alex's POV in the flashback.

Song - "Brothers" - sung by Vic Mignogna

Song - "I Know I'm a Wolf"- Young Heretics

How can I repay you, brother mine?  
How can I expect you to forgive?  
Clinging to the past  
I shed our blood, and shattered your chance to live  
Though I knew the laws, I paid no heed  
How can I return your wasted breath?  
What I did not know has cost you dear,  
For there is no cure for death

My weight sunk into the mattress as I sat down by my sleeping brother's side. Like the light sleeper he was, he woke up to it. "Mm.." His eyes opened slowly as he looked up to me, "What's the matter?" He asked sleepily.

"Get dressed." I half-whispered.

He didn't question me after that. We strolled down to the direction of Toluca Lake through the fog and light rain. It hardly rained in Shepherd's Glen so we didn't have raincoats. Josh used the flashlight I gave him to guide us. He had it by his pillow every night ever since. Besides, I didn't really need it. I guess the flashlight not only helped him see through the dark, but also got rid of his fears. I wanted to talk to Josh alone. I couldn't do it in our house because Dad would probably yell at me for waking up my little brother. I might as well be a stranger in that very house. Josh was always the favorite, I was shunned. I wasn't sure why. It was like Dad didn't want me to experience the joys of life. I thought he was ashamed of me. I looked down at the dog tags and tucked them under my shirt. He gave them to me because he wanted me to become a soldier. He didn't show me love or compassion because a soldier didn't need that. At least, I thought that's why he shoved me to the side.

When we finally reached the dock, I jumped into one of the empty wooden rowing boats. Josh followed by hesitantly. I began rowing away from the shore.

"What are we doing here, Alex? Dad'll freak if he finds out."

"Give that to me. Someone will see us." I said as I put my hand out.

"Nooo!" His grip on the flashlight's handle tightened as he shook his head in protest. He wasn't going to let go of his light.

"It's okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.." I reached for the light and Josh handed me the light with shaky hands. He didn't need it when he had me. I pulled the flashlight away from him before he could protest. He looked down at his trembling palms. I wasn't sure if he was shivering out of fear or because of how cold it was. I dropped the flashlight by my side and faced him. He observed his surroundings as he spoke, "Why are we here, Alex? What's going on?"

I ignored his questions. I couldn't answer that myself. "What's the matter? You scared?"

"Oh, no! I'm cool." He shook his head as he placed on a brave smile, "..It's just Dad never lets us out on the lake."

"Not you anyway. Dad thinks you're a little baby who can't do anything on his own." I smirked.

"Oh, yeah? Then, why'd he give me this?" Josh pulled on the silver chain that wrapped around his neck and something small and silver shined in his palms.

"What is that?" It was hard to see through all this fog. Was it a locket?

"Dad's ring, but he told me not to show you, so I guess that makes me cooler." He hung up the necklace, showing it off. He was not just showing off his non-existent coolness, but the fact that he was obviously favored. He knew it and he was rubbing it in my face. My eyebrows knit in the middle as I eyed the silver ring.

"Let me see it." I demanded as I yanked it out of his hands. His protest was ignored as I looked down at the necklace. It didn't look like much at all. Was it even made of real silver? "It looks like a piece of crap." I said with an amused smile.

"_It is not. It's worth more than a million dollars that's why dad gave it to ME! "_ I gasped at his tantrum, mocking him. I shook the necklace like I was jingling keys in front of a dog. I wanted to rile him up, tease him. _"Give that back!" _He demanded and lunged for it. He tugged onto the chain. "Give it back! It's mine!" Josh stood up and the mini-session of tug-and-war began. He pulled onto it with all his might as I held it in a tight grip. I was too amused with his attempt to notice in time that his own strength caused him to fall back. "Ahh!" His neck slammed against the edge of the wooden boat and he rolled off into the water.

"Josh! Oh, my god.." I grabbed the flashlight and raced back to his side of the boat. I shined the light onto the dark water, "Josh!" I kept yelling out his name. Hoping for some sort of response. Hoping for him to shoot out of the water yelling out, 'Gotcha!', but that moment never came. I sucked in a breath of air and dove into the dark cold water, my light in hand. _Josh!_ I wanted to scream out. I scooped him into my arms the minute I saw him floating to the bottom. I swam to the surface and looked down at him, "Josh? Can you hear me?" A bright light suddenly shined upon me.

"_Alex!"_

"Dad!" I yelled. He threw down the ladder from the fishing boat and I grabbed onto it. I climbed to the top and faced him. His appalled expression said he knew what happened, but he couldn't believe it. I had a hard time believing it myself. Dad took Josh from my arms and looked down at him. His drenched clothes clung to his small body, Josh was still holding the necklace. Dad looked at me with anger flashing his eyes. "Do you know what you've done?"

I took away his last breath, his last words, his chance to live. I shed his blood.

"It was an accident."

"This is not the way it's suppose to be. I chose _you_!"

It should have been me.

"Now, you've ruined it for all of us!" He looked away from me, then back at Josh. My brother. His son. Our Abel.

"No.. No.. he's okay right?" This isn't how it's suppose to end. We're brothers. We're family. We watch out for each other. My legs went numb and I fell to my knees. This isn't happening. This isn't real. I never went out to the shore. Josh never drowned. This didn't happen.

"No.. I can save him.. I can, I can save him. I can save him.. He's okay.."

"He's okay."

Rabbit, please stop looking the other way

It's cold out there so why not stay here  
Under my tail.


	2. Abel's Lamb

**Abel's Lamb**

Meg && Dia – Yellow Butterfly

Grab my hand, I can't, I can't.  
I can still see that face sink beneath the waves.  
Baby, please breathe for me,

Give me time, I am here.  
Where did you go?

A week before Josh's death, I was looking for Shuki, the chocolate labrador that we saved from a puppy mill. He's been missing for days. I never called him by his actual name. I only referred to him as 'the dog'. Where's the dog? Is Josh with the dog? The sad thing was that dad paid more attention to the dog than me. I mean favoring Josh over me was one thing, but the dog? To make things even worse, Dad was ignoring me more than usual, but he was off doing his own thing I guess. I walked into my backyard and over to the doghouse in hopes that the dog had returned home. An exasperated sigh was released when I found nothing. I didn't even understand why I had to look for the dog. I looked over to the hole that was in our backyard fence and sighed. Josh and I had made that hole so secret path could be constructed from our house to the playground. Dad probably forgot to close it off. I crawled through the man-made hole and heard my little brother's voice behind me.

"Can I come too, Alex?" He asked in hopes that he'll be permitted.

"No, because you're only going to get in the way and I'm tired of cleaning up after your stupid mistakes and getting blamed for everything. I don't know why Dad likes you and I don't know how I can still be so damn nice to you when you caused me so much hell. Sometimes, I wish you'd disappear."

But I never said that.

I bit my lip and grit my teeth to stop myself from saying those harsh words. I would never want him to disappear. No matter what, I cherished Joshua even more than I cherished my own life. He was the golden trophy in our family. Even though he was spoiled and had gotten the latest toys and clothing, he still had a pure heart of gold. His heart was too immaculate for greed to take over. Lately, however, he has been feeling alone. His best friend, Joey, had basically disappeared off the face of the earth. When Mayor Bartlett answered the door to my brother, he would say, 'Joey is still sick with the flu, he can't come out.' Last week it was the chicken pox, before that it was a sore throat. I thought something odd was going on especially because there were rumors spreading around that someone saw Mayor Bartlett dragging an unusually large bag at night, but the mayor said it was a sack of fertilizer. Mayor Bartlett and Joey had shared an odd fascination for plants, but why would Joey's father plant at night?

"So, can I look for Shuki with you?" His voice intruded on my thoughts and for once, I was thankful he did. Forgetting about my suspicions, I turned to my brother.

"Josh." I said with every muscle tensing at the irritable state that my brother was putting me in. I couldn't say no. His best friend had seemed to disappear into thin air, and now the family dog has gone missing.

"Please?"

"Okay," I said with a roll of my eyes, "Just don't get in the way." I crawled through the hole and he followed behind. The sides of the dirt path were coated with trees. Autumn had stained the leaves orange and red as the cool breeze caused the leaves to rustle. When we made it to the playground, we saw no sign of Shuki or kids swinging and sliding. My brother placed his hands around his mouth, hoping it would echo when he yelled for Shuki to respond, but the only sound we did hear were the swing's rusty chains shaking. "Let's keep going." I said, heading toward the playground's gate. I opened it and he followed without a word.

We finally decided to ask the other townspeople if they have seen a stray dog fitting the description we have given them. Most of them said that they would hear howling late at night at the lake. The sky was soon fading into a blanket of blue and purple. "We have to go to the lake." Josh begged. He ignored the growling of his stomach and continued onward. I could have sworn he was just trying to act tough, but when it came to Shuki, he was no longer the frail boy he usually was. Now, he was serious and strong. He was determined to find our pet.

Fog began to blind our sight and we were expected to be home for supper. "Josh, you know the dog wouldn't be at the lake." It was true. Shuki would yelp and bark, begging not to be walked by it. Our dog wasn't hydrophobic either so it was an odd thing to see. Josh fabricated a sigh of disappointment as he casted a gaze down at his shoes. I didn't want to be late for dinner because I would get in trouble. Josh didn't have anything to worry about. Josh knew this and for my sake, agreed. We walked home, but our heads were not low. We didn't look behind or down, just straight ahead. We had to move on and hope for tomorrow Shuki will come. I looked down at Josh and reassured him that someone in town might have found him and they're taking care of him for a bit. His eyes twinkled with certainty at my optimistic comfort.

We arrived home, and Mom smiled at us, informing us that dinner was ready. She told me to go get Dad and I nodded. I walked down to the basement, calling his name. "Hey, Dad! Dinner's ready!" I told him as I ventured deeper into the basement. I discovered a tarp over an opening. I raised a suspicious brow. I have never seen it actually loose and open, but I moved the tarp away and walked through. It lead me to another door that had a strange knob. Sound of flesh being chopped could be heard from behind the door. I pushed the door open to see my dad striking something with a large butcher knife and splashes of crimson created a mist in the air.

No. It couldn't be.

"Dad!" He turned at the sound of my voice. His brows furrowed in place as he dropped the knife on the table. He approached me as I stood frozen in place like a dog ready to be punished after destroying a piece of furniture.

"What the hell are you doing?" I stepped back as he a shot a threatening look my way. "You know this place is off limits!" He cuffed my shoulders with his hands and shook me violently, "I don't ever want to see you in here again!" He ordered. I wanted to look away from his hollow eyes that seemed to only know blood and violence. For those few seconds, I was looking into a demon. This was not Dad.

"Are we clear?" Or maybe he never was my dad.

"I'm sorry. Yes! Yes, sir!" I fell on my lower back after he released me. He shut the door and left me there. I just sat there, unable to grasp on what just happened. How can I explain what just happened to Josh and Mom? I can't just go up to them saying that Dad killed our dog for no reason. No, that would upset Josh. I can't do that to him. If I tell them, then Dad's going to punish me. But something's wrong. He killed our dog, but why? What was he preparing for? I thought hunting would be enough for him, and we all grew up with Shuki. So, why would Dad kill him? I couldn't bear these terrible thoughts. I'll just say the dog ran away and we just couldn't find him!

"Alex! Adam! Come up for dinner!"

Mom's voice had broken through my thoughts and I got up from the cold hard ground. It was time to continue pretending was alright. It was time to keep our family image clean and healthy inside-out. I was nothing, but a pawn in this game of 'family life'. Well, if we were going to make-believe, then I will for my sanity's sake.

"Coming, Mom." I said and headed up the stairs, informing Mom that Dad will be coming in a few minutes.

Were the angels that lonely?  
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  
Can't everybody just lie to me?


End file.
